I’ve been largely resting my arm since February, playing with students and practicing in 20 minute increments. Although it hurt after each session, it would quickly fade and seemed receptive to the usual tendinitis protocol. Writing work has picked up, and of course, typing hurts, too. I’m trying to edit before I compose. You tell me if my tone is suddenly as wooden as it feels. Sorry about that.

I went to see a specialist last week. I described the pain, she took some x rays and then she did a bunch of physical tests. Push! Pull! Lift! Squeeze! “Does this hurt?”

Um, YES?!? 30 seconds later I was in tears as my entire left forearm, wrist, palm and fingers exploded in pain, worse than the initial cello-induced injury. What’s the point of resting if the diagnostic tests are going to set you back months? Now everything pisses my arm off. I’m sleeping in strange positions with pillows cradling my sorry appendage so it’s not too bent, not too straight, just like so.

The diagnosis: I have extensive wrist flexor tendinopathy and possible carpal tunnel syndrome. I’m set to start PT 3 times a week for 6 weeks starting in a few days. For now, I’ve been asked to wear a brace and hammer my kidneys with Motrin. I hate the brace. It’s uncomfortable, doesn’t reduce the pain and is a visual reminder of how dicey things are. In response, I have begun to wear red lipstick (again) because it makes me feel strong and maybe a little Parisian. Paris always makes things better.