10) It’s too hot.

You don’t say! We live in the desert, in case you hadn’t noticed.

9) I’m, er…sick. (on the phone, with festive sounds in the background)

You will be after the 7 vodka tonics you’re in the middle of ingesting.

8) I can’t find a parking space.

Me neither.

7) Day after Halloween/Christmas/NewYear: “You said we didn’t have a lesson, so I didn’t show up.”

Of course I did! I love depriving myself of income and waiting around. Too true.

6) It’s boring.

You’re boring.

5) It’s too hard.

Right you are. Nobody has ever, even with persistence and hard work, gotten good at the cello. Your winning attitude will take you far.

4) Oops! I forgot! *valley-girl laughter*

You also appeared to have forgotten the rest of your skirt at the last lesson and that didn’t stop you. Put some clothes on.

3) You weren’t teaching me what I wanted to learn.

Can you imagine if student pilots tried to lead the lessons? It would rain Cessnas! What you’re really saying is that you didn’t like learning the nuts and bolts, which are necessary in any craft. Impatient students are my specialty, but I can’t persuade all of them.

2) My *insert relative here* died.

I think she has died three times so far. I can tell when someone is lying. Lying about something as serious as a death in the family seems like tempting fate, doesn’t it?

1) We found a cheaper instructor.

Yes you did.