Ever since I can remember, fall has been my favorite season. Growing up in southern California, it was blessed relief from summer’s persistent cloudless urgency. Not a lot of color to be had; perhaps a liquid-ambar would make an ass of itself in the grocery store parking lot, maybe the citrus groves would develop a shy streak, but nothing spectacular. The real thing about LA in autumn is the sublime angle of the light, a cool yellowed blue, mixed with the most wonderful crispness in the air that of course never really makes you cold, but you could totally throw on a scarf and dress like you were in starring in a movie about being “back east”. Plus, my birthday is in the fall, so it’s like a massive kick off: birthday, Halloween (woo!), Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s, St. Paddy’s, Easter.
Then we’re back to summer. (boo!)
Here’s a picture of a tree I got used to looking at during standing yoga poses. Lovely little thing.
Beebee recently stopped being 100% snuggly 100% of the time. This fall, she started showing shades of adolescence. She still wakes me up nearly every night to squeak, and knead, and sometimes even to nurse on my neck or earlobe. Funny, how everything changes at night and comfort becomes the most desperate and precious thing.
She’s an excellent writing buddy.
2014 may have begun meekly, but it ended with an arm half full of artwork, courtesy of Liaa Walter, who I am lucky enough to call a friend as well as the artist responsible for my aviation themed piece. Every time I look at it, at the compass guiding my favorite plane surely to its destination, I am reminded that it’s important to do things that you love. To steer for yourself. To listen when your guts call for a change in direction. Getting a tattoo that everyone can see can seem scary: people judge or make assumptions. Some jobs are not available to me because of them.
Part of the reason I decided to start getting work done where it can be seen was to reaffirm my choices in life. To acknowledge that it is possible to be making good decisions and still find struggle. To make sure I don’t do something truly foolish like give it all up for the safety of a job that would not bring my best into the world. My best might not amount to much, I’ll admit. But it’s what I’ve got- what we’ve all got- and it’s important to find work that sees that potential realized.
Which also explains this.
2014 is over, and I’m grateful for another turn around the sun. 2015 is already trying to make me flinch, but I’m having absolutely none of it.